The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman
The Five Love Languages book isn't just about romantic relationships. What you learn could be used in any relationship; business, family, friends, acquaintances. It's about being more mindful of what that person needs, what speaks to them, what they value.
The Five Love Languages are:
Words: cards, verbal actual verbal words, songs
Touch: massage, holding hands, handshakes, hugs, sex
Time: spending quality time
Service: repairing a shower head, mending a shirt, cooking, giving a ride
Gifts: flowers, notes, holiday & birthday presents. (gifts do not always have to be extravagant, they can be simple)
You can learn what your love languages are and it could be a mix, leaning towards one or two. The dominant love language(s) is/are main ones that speaks to you and touches you more than the other languages. If a person's love language is gifts, they would appreciate receiving AND giving more than they would value something like words: books, praise and song lyrics.
If you pay attention to what a person's languages are, then you make them feel loved and valued. Let's say you're a service & touch person, your partner is more of a words and time person and you two are having communication problems. If your love languages are not being met, it can add to the tension and friction a couple can go through. Things could run smoother between you two if she patched up your shirt and massaged your back and if you brought home the newspaper from work because you know she likes doing the crossword puzzle and spent the weekend together.
This is one of those books that can be useful in all areas of your life; to cultivate a new partnership in business; you can learn the love languages of the children in your life and make them feel understood and loved.
After the cancer diagnosis, I wanted to have more hugs in my life. My family and I are not huggers. We hug other people, we just don’t hug each other, it’s just always been that way. So I told my mom and brother that I wanted hugs. Ever since then, it’s become normal for us to greet with hugs. My mom will even get me out of the car to get one before I hit the road.
What are your love languages? How do you show love? How can you welcome receiving your love languages?